Having a Blue Christmas

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Christmas is an exciting time filled with joyous moments with family and friends. People are excitedly putting up Christmas decorations, giving gifts, baking cookies, and singing along to Christmas songs. With everyone else having such a picture perfect time, the holidays can be difficult for people who are not-whether it be for mental illness, the loss of a loved one, financial troubles, having to work for Christmas, etc.

This particular post is going to focus on losing a loved one, but it’s okay to feel blue around the holidays for other reasons too! You can’t help when you’re feeling down, and all of the expectations to enjoy the holiday season can be overwhelming. Just remember to hang in there!

On to this post-Christmas used to be a time of excitement for me, but I’ve definitely had some ‘blue’ Christmases. Let’s get into my holiday background, shall we?

When I was younger, my family would travel down to Florida to spend the holidays at my grandmother’s house. My grandpa died before I could remember, so she lived alone and had her children and grandchildren visit her throughout the year. We would spend the whole week for Christmas, and it was something I looked forward to all year.

Like myself, my grandma was a night owl, so she wasn’t keen on waking up early (instead we’d stay up late watching Christmas movies and playing board games). I had to wait to open presents in the morning, but did I mind? Nope. At her house, Christmas was about family and I cherished every day I spent there. She constantly had health problems due to her age and the fact that she had been a smoker for most of her life, so I never really knew which visit would be the last (although the last time I definitely knew). She was someone who always was on my side and always made me feel welcomed, even as an anxious and shy little girl, so I loved spending time with my grandma.

When she passed away three years ago, I was pretty upset. I was fortunate enough not to lose anyone I cared about before, so it was a new experience that definitely hit me hard. While her passing was in the fall, it lingered throughout Christmas because she was no longer there to share it with. My eagerly awaited trip of the year was gone, just like that. I can’t really remember much about that Christmas, but I know I wasn’t in much of a celebratory mood.

Even if you don’t lose someone around the Christmas season, it still affects it. You won’t see them at Christmas dinner, you won’t search for a perfect gift for them, you won’t talk to them on the phone. It sucks, but would they want you to spend the holiday upset and miserable without them? No. So reminisce on the past, remember all the good times you shared with them, grieve, but also remember to keep living and making memories with others. Don’t forget, but keep going.

I don’t typically share as much personal things on my blog, but I hope you enjoyed reading this! Especially if you’re having a blue Christmas this year, I know it’s hard but you can make it through! I’m always here to talk if anyone is feeling down during the holidays (or anytime).

 

3 thoughts on “Having a Blue Christmas

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